


Over Lunch

by deird1



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen, season: b2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-16
Updated: 2009-11-16
Packaged: 2017-10-03 00:50:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deird1/pseuds/deird1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cordelia's life is getting much too complicated...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Over Lunch

**Over Lunch**

She loved gossip. Always had. But it was getting increasingly… complicated.

"-totally freaked out. Just kicked him straight down the stairs."

Cordelia dropped her bag on the table, and sat down in the middle of the group. "The lunchlady is getting weirder and weirder," she announced. "You know she actually wanted to lecture me about healthy eating? Like someone _her_ size knows anything about health."

The girls were still huddled around Stacy, who kept talking in a hushed voice. "I heard she kept hitting him over and over, even after he was dead. The paramedics had to pull her off him."

"What are we talking about?"

"Buffy Summers. She went psycho and totally killed her mom's new guy."

_Oh great._

Cordelia opened her yoghurt and tried to look unconcerned. "Oh please. Like I really want to discuss corpses while I'm eating lunch. Way to be gruesome, Stace." She crossed her legs, and smiled. "Has anyone seen the new spring outfits at _Maurices_?"

"Oh yeah! Their skirts are _stunning_!"

_Conversation successfully redirected. Too easy._

Skirts at _Maurices_ turned into skirts at _Danesh Fashions_, which moved on to _Danesh_'s latest sales, which brought up the subject of the new manager at _Luvvable_ and her generous discounts.

"…and she gave me the cream knit at forty dollars off."

Candace frowned. "Wait - tall lady with the bad perm?"

"Yeah, that's her."

"Oh, I can't _stand_ her. She totally refused to let me return the silk scarf I wore for Halloween-"

_Oh no._

"-just because it got shredded by the big guy in the goblin mask. Which, hello, _wasn't_ my fault."

"Totally. That night was just _weird_."

Cordelia smiled brightly. "Have you guys heard about Tammy Grayson's new boyfriend?"

No luck. Her question went unheard as Sara leaned forward.

"It so was. You know, my dad's car got completely smashed up. Someone actually _shot_ all the windows. There were bullet holes everywhere."

"Big deal." Laura rolled her eyes. "So your dad's car has bullet holes in it. My _math_ book has one, too. Straight through the cover."

"Really?"

"You know, from the Career Week thing."

"Oh, yeah."

"Speaking of Career Week," Cordelia said confidentially, "you know what Lisa got as her ideal job? Las Vegas dancer."

"Really?"

_No. Total lie. But, desperate times…_

"Really. Sequins and all. I saw her sign-up sheet."

"Well, it makes sense."

Candace nodded. "So much. _I_ hear Mason Lewis got 'cleaner', and Carly Edwards got 'librarian'. Can you imagine getting something that lame?"

"I dunno," Stacy smirked. "Librarianing can't be that boring. I hear Mr Giles was arrested a couple of weeks ago. Something about a dead guy?"

_Damn._

"Really?" Laura leaned in. "Maybe it was that shrivelled-up man Jess found in the bathroom."

"Ooh, maybe. Or it _could_ have been those people who died at Parent Teacher Night."

"Wasn't that a gang thing?"

_Dammit, dammit, dammit._ Cordelia sighed. _Time for authority-voice._

"Hey!" She gestured at her lunch. "People still trying to eat, here. Don't want to get _completely_ grossed out. Can we talk about something else?"

Authority-voice still worked pretty well. There was an abashed silence for a minute, and then Sara spoke up.

"Hey, so I hear Mr Whitmore is going to make us do that mock-parenting thing with the eggs."

Cordelia relaxed. Finally, a topic that wouldn't lead back to anything weird.


End file.
